Hi ladies.. just looking for your thoughts on it.

My (ex) best friend (let’s call her S) and I had been friends for 13 years since high school. A lot changed since then (I got married, bought a house, moved 2 hours away) but still remained friends. She was maid of honour at my wedding.

She was single & I was recently married I always made it a point (to the best of my ability) to hang out with her even included my husband. I’d often cover the 2 hour drive to see her at a short notice and obviously there were times when I wouldn’t see her for a couple of months (I worked a stressful job and had a lot of other things going on in my life). Meanwhile, she’d also made other friends and would go out partying and drinking until late.. and being married and TTCing, this just wasn’t my lifestyle so I didn’t participate in those gatherings. I was happy with just a dinner or coffee. Past few years, it often felt like I was initiating contact with her more often than she was. Being busy with my own life, I figured she just needed space.

So anyway, about 10 months ago, I’d just found out I was pregnant but things weren’t going well (at first there were suspicions about it being an

ectopic pregnancy, then they couldn’t confirm the heartbeat and a lot of follow ups). I was very stressed but hadn’t told a soul except my husband. At exactly this time, I messaged S to see how she was. She complained that I hadn’t seen her in a month. I told her I understand, but I have had a lot on my plate but I couldn’t just explain over a text. She quickly dismissed me and said something along the lines of “we all have shit going on but we make time for friends” . This wasn’t the first time she’d said something like this. So I was hurt. She continued with how I wasn’t listening to her about how she feels about our relationship and I kept politely telling her that she needed to communicate with me better.. that I also felt the same way and she could pick up the phone and call me if I hadn’t called her. Anyway, S is very hot headed and everyone knows that. She doesn’t like to be wrong or admit that she’s wrong. I was always easy going and quick to apologize so it worked. But this time I felt like I had nothing to apologize for. Anyway, long story short, she ended up getting so mad that she blocked my texts and deleted me off social media which I found highly disrespectful. I thought we both needed to cool down plus had way too much going on in my life to try to chase her. Anyway, a few weeks later, i was able to send her an iMessage and said “let’s talk” to which she didn’t respond. At this point, I was really upset so I let it go. She found out from mutual friends that I was pregnant and having a rough pregnancy but she never called. So for my baby shower, I didn’t invite her because I didn’t think she would come.

I had the baby a few months ago and she knew but still no message. I tried to reach out to her once again a few weeks ago and wrote a letter to her explaining how I felt in all of this and I’m sure she has her side of the story and that I wished her nothing but the best. She said I was a terrible friend because I used her blocking me as an excuse to not contact her (she’s wanting me to show up at her house or some grand gesture) but that she wished me the best. I let it go and once again tried calling her last week because I wanted her to meet my baby (she never congratulated me or anything). She never responded to my call so I texted her & said it’s okay I understand if you’re not interested in talking. She sent me a message instead and said I had deeply hurt her by not inviting her to the baby shower (not acknowledging that she had hurt me too and that she had blocked me and never responded to my imessage). She said that I’m too entitled expecting a call back within the same day and extending out some fake friendship. At this point, I politely explained that I wasn’t extending a friendship.. just wanted her to hear my voice and meet my daughter because she’d been a part of our lives for so long. But nothing. She continued to tell me how I was a terrible friend that I didn’t make more of an effort to talk to her for the past ten months (she says being blocked is no excuse) and blocked me once again. Lol

So I know this friendship is done but I’m extremely hurt when I have been nothing but polite. She’s also gone to some mutual friends and is telling them that I hurt her and that she was going through her own tough time (she never told me about this but was also partying at the same time) so they probably view me in a different light. And now I feel like a doormat because I reached out to her so many times. And she said some terrible things about how I was a bad friend and she couldn’t believe the kind of person I was. My husband says this was a toxic friendship and that I should let it go and I will but I am wondering if there is any chance I did something wrong here by not inviting her to my baby shower.