Single mommies, who do you live with? I live with my mother and finding it extremely HARD.

Question

My daughter is now 12 months, and I cannot stand living with my mother any longer. Besides having completely different parenting styles, we constantly argue. I cannot stand her. She's always insulting me, controlling, telling me I'm a bad mother, telling me I'm a bad human being in general, telling me how to parent my daughter, everything has to be on her time table...to name a few things 😕...
I constantly feel verbally attacked by her. I cannot stand it any more. It just got way, way worse since I got pregnant and had my daughter. I mean I know I can have a nasty attitude and be very angry too, but I have come to realize most of it is from trying to defend myself. I'm so tired of being the horrible person in the family and constantly being reminded of what a burden I am... I have been depressed since 2015, and I really feel like our relationship makes it worse. I have never felt true hate towards my mom, but this year I have started to feel hate towards her. 
I've been seeing a new therapist, and one thing he has said is to try not to let her words affect me so much. It's true, I really shouldn't. I've been trying to let it in through one ear and out the other. But it's so hard. Aren't mothers supposed to be loving and supportive? Or what or how should I change my thinking to?? 
What are your relationships like with your moms? Do any single mommies live with their families too? I'm getting desperate...and thinking of going to a family shelter. I'm just scared bc I don't know if I'll be able to provide the financial means for my daughter and I. 😔
PS - my mom does help me out in that I can live with her, and I don't pay for food. I can tell she doesn't want me there, but I don't think she would kick me out because she loves my daughter (her grandchild) too much, now that my daughter is born. (She didn't want my baby when I was pregnant 🙄).
PS #2 - I've been thinking of placing my daughter for adoption. I feel like she deserves so much better than me and what I can provide for her. I thought I could do this, but I feel like I was utterly wrong.

Answer

I understand how you feel. I have lived with my father since 2016, and my mom moved back in with us around 2 years ago. My son is 2 years old and she has always made me feel like a failure. She actually made me contemplate suicide multiple times in the beginning because I thought I was so horrible and I thought that my son would be better off without me. I, too, thought about putting my son up for adoption because I thought he would be better off. Most days he didn't even feel like my child anyway - she had to control everything with him and when I would try to spend time with him or do anything at all she would be taking him from my arms, again because I wasn't feeding him right or something.
It has since gotten a little better. I started to stand my ground and she started to back off finally. My son now actually feels like my son and I'm glad I never gave up or gave him up for adoption. My advice is try to save up as much money as you can, so you and your little one can finally have your own place and find some peace. I really hope everything works out for you, and soon.

Answer

Please let me know if you need someone to talk to

Answer

We are in the EXACT same position (in reference to our living situations) l but I live with my mom and it’s like because I live with her she feels although she doesn’t have to respect me as a person let alone as a mother. She constantly talks down on me and yells at me in front of my son. She calls me lazy and stupid all the time. She’s just really toxic and she helps me out only to hold it over my head the next time we argue. And she can be really passive aggressive. It’s lead to a plethora of issues for me, namely clinical anxiety and depression. But, that’s why I’m working over time to get a degree, get a career and move out before my son is older enough to register what’s happening. The only way to remedy our situations, I feel like, is to move out. Maybe try looking into government rent assistance. That’s why I do, I’ve read that some programs you only have to pay 30% of your rent and that can help you move you and your child out of the toxic situation. In the mean time, put your foot down and stand your ground and don’t let her talk down on you.

Single mommies, who do you live with? I live with my mother and finding it extremely HARD.

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