I kinda feel like sh*t right now. I came across some old yearbooks and looked at what everybody wrote to me. Everyone was talking about us smoking weed and popping pills and partying. But some of these people I don’t even remember. Like: everybody knew my business like that? Honestly I’m quite ashamed of my past. And then I googled some of my ex’s from that time period and of course they’ve since obtained arrest records (mostly for drugs). After high school, all the partying really got out of hand for me and now I don’t do any of that stuff anymore. I guess I’m upset because signatures in your year books are supposed to invoke good memories of happy times. And yeah, I had a blast back then. But now I’m just so embarrassed about how trashed I was and how the people I chose to hang out with: their lives have since gone down the tubes. I’m ashamed, angry at my past self, and disappointed in my ex’s for not doing better for themselves. What if my child ever reads these yearbooks someday? What would she think of me? That would be horrifying. I’ll have to burn these or something. I guess I should be thankful I’ve made it out the other side, as many people don’t. But I still have so many regrets and I just feel awful after reading all that. I guess I don’t really have a point here, other than to vent. Thanks for reading.