So I can’t sleep - it’s 23:45 and I have to be up for work at 6 and I am just so tired but can never sleep.

I had to push my 20 week scan back by a week so now won’t find out if baby is ok until 26th Sept ☹️ We had a visible birth difference with our last pregnancy my beautiful youngest 21 month old son had a UL cleft lip. I think once you find an unexpected thing at one of the scans you are never quite the same. I know people are just being polite (mmm maybe) and asking if we are going to find out what baby is. I’m like going out of my mind - I don’t give a flying f what genitalia baby has (even though we think because I’m such a moody bitch this time maybe it’s a different gender ie a girl) I just want a healthy baby who doesn’t need surgery. I’m jealous of the care free posts about gender reveals and all that! I wish I could be content that baby is ok and just be excited about gender but I’m just so worried that we will have to face surgeries with another baby. Of course I’m strong enough for it but I just want this time to have an uncomplicated pregnancy. Where I just get a BFP, have two scans and then have a baby at 40 weeks. Not gunna happen For me mrs high risk for multiple factors. I know how lucky I am. Believe me but I’m pissy and stressed out and just bleurgh. Maybe now I’ve shouted into the internet void I can get some sleep?! Anyways if you made it this long you deserve a medal and thank you!

This is my third and last pregnancy.F doing this bull* again!!!!!!