How did your first child change your life?

Question

And your relationship?
Was it planned or unplanned? 
Did you struggle financially? Mentally? 
How did you make it work?

Answer

I wanted to wait. We were very young (I was a few months shy of 20) and I wanted to wait until we were more financially ready, but he talked me into it. He desperately wanted to be a father, or so he claimed. As soon as I got pregnant he didn't seem too interested though. Constantly ignored and neglected me. We constantly needed help from friends and family because he spent all his money on cheating on me and only worked part time as is so not like we had a lot. As soon as we split (shortly before my daughter turned 3), things got better though. Within a year I made way more than my ex did and we could afford our home, bills, and groceries with ease and have plenty of money left over for fun. We had a blast. Going to the movies, fun days at the mall, visiting the zoo. Turns out we never needed him haha

Answer

He was a surprise 😂 I was 15 and on the pill and using condoms so I was extremely shocked! My boyfriend was equally shocked as me. It was hard in our relationship especially being young but our son was worth it❤️ I did need help financially (benefits) for a little while. Went to college for 2 years and turned my life around. Now my son is 10 nearly 11 and me and my partner have now been together over 12 years and Im expecting number 2 in January ❤️

Answer

Planned, had been .married 10 yrs at that point. Can't say it had an effect, short of making me love him more.
Financially, it's an adjustment, but we were pretty secure in our jobs as well at that point.
Just had baby #2 seven weeks ago, celebrating 18 years of marriage in about 3 weeks.

Answer

My first was planned. She was a big change in our lives for sure. At first it took a big toll on our relationship as we where so over whelmed and pre occupied with the new baby we kinda stopped being a couple and where just parents if that makes since. We had to work on getting things back to normal and making time for each other. As for mentally, I suffered from post partum depression after she was born. I would cry nun stop any time I was alone with her. I was so afraid to be alone with her I couldn't handle it at all it was so hard for me I was so afraid I was not good enough and would ruin her.
Aside from that I would say it was all good changes. Me and my husband have an amazing relationship now and a great sex life and I was able to get help with my PPD and work through it to get to a better place. Our daughter is now 8 and we are expecting our second.
Having a baby is a big change and takes a lot of work and sacrifice. A new baby also impacts different people and couples differently.

Answer

My husband was informed that he could not have children and we were 100% fine with that as we never wanted them. After nearly 7 years and not one scare, we never questioned it. I got pregnant and miscarried early on and honestly we thought it was a fluke (so silly). A month later I was pregnant again and it was terrifying. My husband had been let go from his engineering position so I picked up a 2nd job. All of our money went towards our mortgage and other bills so we had NO idea how we were going to make it..
Funny thing is that children really seem to bring out the best in even the worst of situations. We grew together even more as a couple and today things couldn't be better. My husband is back into a career, our son is 16 months old and constantly keeps us on our toes! Finding adult time is probably pur biggest obstacle, we've only had 2 dates since he was born and so far he has never spent a night away from us. We do have an adult only vacation coming up that I'm nervous about but also really looking forward to. 
Overall, our son has challenged us and made us go about things differently. There's a budget set in place and we communicate a lot better than before. We couldn't imagine our lives without him.

Answer

Our first was unplanned, birth control fail 😅. At first I was really scared since we weren't in a position to have a baby yet. My husband just got out of the army, we were staying with my parents in the basement until we found a place to live. I had barely just started working again which I had to quit within two weeks because I had terrible and I mean TERRIBLE morning sickness but luckily my husband already had a good paying job in order for me to do so. We finally found a place to live 4 months before baby. 
I ended up having an emergency c section, and my hospital stay was kinda terrible. Just mean nurses, no one listened to my concerns, and I couldn't breastfeed. 
Once we got home things were rough. My husband only had a week off from work and the hospital stay took most of those days. So we were both really sleep deprived, had to figure out life again with a baby, it's a big adjustment. We had short little tempers with each other. Agreeing and disagreeing on silly things when it came to parenting or stupid little things in general. It was just a chaotic first 2 months. Our son also had colic so adding that into the mix was not fun at all. But we always just had to remind ourselves that we need to work as a team instead of against each other. We started having a monthly date night which helped a lot. 
Becoming a mom has been hard. Well mainly being a stay at home mom. I've lost my self identity. I get lonely at times. It can get frustrating and a little depressing at times. I'm still working through finding myself still now as a mom. I'm learning that I need to take time for myself. This past weekend was the first time in a little over 2 years that I've gone a full night away from our son. And it was weird and quite and I missed him so much. But it was also nice and I'm thinking I'll need more of those moments again. But I also absolutely love being a mom. It's so rewarding.

Answer

It changes everything, it was unplanned, everything was a struggle. But everything was better at the same time. We definitely wanted another. Started trying 2 1/2 years later.

How did your first child change your life?

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