Co-parenting from nightmare to dream

My ex and I were together for almost 8 years and a part of my heart will always love him. Not like I want to be with him love anymore, but more like it would hurt my heart and soul to watch anything happen to him cause he is the father of my child and if he was hurt she would hurt and all mothers know how awful it is to watch your child hurt. So back story, fair warning this will probably be long. We started dating in high school. He was addicted to pills for all of our relationship, he tried to stop on numerous occasions. We were TOXIC. He made me the worst possible version of myself, but I fought so hard to keep our family together for so long. I tried to leave numerous times, then he would get clean and we would try again. It would be okay for a month or two, then right back to a shit show. One day it finally was enough. He went to Florida to stay with his family for a month to get clean and he took our daughter so i could continue to work, his mom doesnt work and would take care of her while he was trying to get his shit together. Before he left, i knew it was over, but i didnt tell him until I knew he was safely with his family. It was messy. Emotionally it was over for me years prior, I started dating someone pretty quickly that i had known for a while. Life got really crazy really quick. Our lease ended I moved in with my new bf where we had set up a bedroom for my daughter, and he moved to fl to be with his family. We fought over everything, we went to court and got an agreement which we follow loosely now. We have gone from ready to kill one another to actually being supportive of one another in just 1 short year. I am 20w pregnant with my rainbow and my ex knows about the miscarriage and sent me this today making my pregnant ass cry.

I know it's late and you're probably half asleep...

I just want to say sorry for everything I've done wrong. I wish I could take everything back and do it all over again. I'm sorry for making you the single parent for so long and being such a terrible person to you. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help raise Aria and be there for you and her when you needed me the most. Thank you for all the effort you put in and for all the chances you gave me and constantly giving me the benefit of the doubt. I'm sorry for all the lost time and all the extra stress I caused. You always did the best you could do and then some. You constantly gave everything you had into us and our family and I'll never be able to thank you enough. Thank for practically single handedly raising our daughter. You have done an incredible job with everything you have ever done. I don't think I have ever told you how amazing you are and how incredibly grateful I am to have had you. I'm sorry for everything... Thank you for all that you have done and sacrificed.

You are going to be such a great mother to your new child and possibly an incredible wife for Rob. He is very lucky to have you and I hope he treats you the way you deserve.

Idk how many other mothers feel like failures on a daily basis, but I feel like I am failing at being a decent mom everyday and it is so nice to be reminded that im not a complete failure. It has taken such a long road to get here, and I am just so thankful we have finally gotten here.