Terrified but excited

Allie โ€ข ๐Ÿถ๐Ÿถ, ๐Ÿ‘ฐ 10.08.16, ๐Ÿคฑ๐Ÿ’™ 07.04.18, ๐Ÿ‘ผ 03.02.19, ๐Ÿ’œ 05.15.20

On March 4th, 2019 I miscarried at 11 weeks. I took it really hard being a stay at home mom with my son. It completely consumed my thoughts and emotions. Once my son turned 1 in July, I went back to work to ease some if our financial burden and to try to get my mind off of the negatives over the last few months. My due date would have been the end of this month. Yesterday, I finally got my BFP and we are expecting our rainbow baby. I am terrified, but this is everything I have wanted for months. I keep talking in 'if' statements - if I don't have another miscarriage, if I get past the first/second/third trimester - and I am afraid to get excited. Anyone else feeling the same way?

Here's our little family, picture taken the day before we found out.