Is it my place?


I have a horrible MIL. If you are not directly in front of her, you don’t exist. She continues to hurt my husband with her neglect. It’s hard because when she’s around, you feel important, and like she cares about you... but when she’s not, you don’t exist to her.

She lives in another state, but will make excuses to not talk on the phone. She will never call herself. She sends gifts for holidays and such, but she won’t come visit. You have to visit her.

She came out to take care of me during my first pregnancy because my husband was deployed. We paid for her ticket, and then we paid to have her flight extended. She chose to go home the day before I was induced to give birth. My son is two and she’s never met him.

My husband just told her that I’m going to be induced for our second child on the 15th, and she sent him balloon and streamer emojis. No words, no phone call, no nothing. I mean, my husbands dad is just as bad, but my husband makes excuses for them both. He says he has to get his mom on board because his dad won’t do anything without his mom... this is true.

It just makes me so MAD! My mom lives in another state too, but my son KNOWS HER. She FaceTimes him, comes out for his birthdays, was there for his birth. Sees him at least 4 times a year... it’s sad because I know that my husband kind of resents it. He tells me our son only has one grandparent.

I mean, is it my place to confront my MIL about it? I don’t want to go behind my husbands back, but he just accepts that they are this way. I mean, he says he does... and then he gets his heart broken by trying again. He tells me he wants me to leave it alone... but damn do I hate standing by. I don’t want to create waves of resentment or anger or guilt, but I want them to wake up and see how much they hurt my family.

I don’t know what to do.