Do men/fathers need to step it up more? Or are we asking too much of them?

Question

Of course this doesn't apply to every man out there and I'm not man-bashing but I've noticed on social media as well as in my own life a reoccurring theme... "my bf just sits around and plays video games", "my husband thinks he doesn't have to help with the kids because he works", and just in general men not helping the mother with day to day adult responsibilities.
Why is this happening? Are our expectations too high? Why do some men think raising children/housework is solely women's work?
Thoughts?

Answer

There’s a big misconception that men went to work and came home and got to be lazy and not help out in the old days. That’s not true, all the older women I talk to say yes they did raise the children while their husbands work but when they got off they helped out with the kids. They would have lost their minds if they never got any help. You don’t get to be a lesser parent because you work during the day. If you’re at home with your children it’s important to be an active parent. Stay at home moms/dads are the most depressed population of people. It’s not easy, it’s extremely mentally draining for a lot of people (not all). Being a parent is a 24/7 job and should be for both parents.

Answer

Women need to look at who they choose to have children with... if hes not helpful, drinks/parties, plays video games all day... before baby then it's very probable he'll be the same after!
Ppl dont just change their ways or mentality because of a baby.
I had children with my husband knowing  that with a doubt he would be a good dad, husband and partner in life.
He helps around the house, with babies, cooking, cleaning...

Answer

You are using a very skewed sampling of men. Women who have actively participating men don't post about it. There are many more amazing dads than not.

Answer

I hear this alot too sadly. I rarely hear of men doing more than the bare minimum for their kids, most mums I talk to are going through something similar and complain that they aren't getting enough support. I'm sure alot of us had hobbies before having kids but automatically curbed it to take care of our responsibilities. However it seems some men still hang onto their own habits and leave it to the mothers. 
To say someone shouldn't have had a child with someone who's into gaming for example is silly, people can change once they've had kids. Mothers do it naturally, we will never be the same people we were before having kids. Its different with men, they have to make that effort to make that change and supportive etc. I am in no way excusing them at all, I'm just saying change is down to the individual. Things will never be 50/50 but their should be a good balance.

Answer

I will never understand how people can come home from work and not want to see and do things for their kids. I get not wanting to do chores after work even though every adult should clean up after themselves. But I will never get telling a SAHM the children are solely her responsibility. If you’re a dad coming home to your kids you should be pitching in with caring for them.

Answer

I think it really depends on what the situation is.. like with me an my husband he works literally all day everyday so I have no problem doing "women's work"... But if he didn't work as much as he did then damn right id be making him do more! But this works for us an he does help if I need it or if I ask for something!

Answer

Your expectations should be high!

Answer

No, expectations aren't to high.
It's logical that the men who agrees to be a parent and work towards having a child would care about that child.
But why women have children with men who cares mostly about their console to start with is also stupid tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do men/fathers need to step it up more? Or are we asking too much of them?

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