I don’t know why I feel so shitty all of a sudden, I haven’t been diagnosed with depression or anything so I’m not saying I’m depressed.

I first started feeling down on Monday, it had been a whole week since I had started college again so I just blamed it on a bad day. When I got home I shut myself in my room and didn’t have any food because I wanted to be left alone. My mum noticed I wanted space and just left me alone, which I was alright with. All of a sudden I got a massive wave of sadness hit me and I just started crying for a while but again I just blamed it on a bad day.

I have always thought bad of myself but recently I’ve been thinking more hurtful stuff like how I’m stupid and I’m not worth anyone’s time. I have also recently been really paranoid that all of my friends are tired of me and that they’re talking about me behind my back.

Anyway, I woke up on Tuesday feeling shit, then again on Wednesday, and again today. I feel so useless.

I don’t want to go to my doctors because they never seem to take me seriously and because I’m 17 they just blame how I’m feeling on puberty and stuff. I’m not close enough with my mum for me to tell her how I feel, and I’m a really awkward person so I don’t like talking about myself a lot to other people.

I guess there’s nothing to do but to wait until I get over how I feel. I keep saying that instead of crying about how I feel, I’m going to do something about it but I have no energy.

Thanks for listening