i’m cheating. i’m a cheater.

i’m so unhappy i have expressed this. i try to leave you find me. i try to run and you buy me. so i’m cheating. not physically, but. mentally. i’m so over you. you won’t allow me to be and be happy. you want me to be miserable. everything is a fight. you ask me what’s wrong I tell you and all you say is “why?” you’re like a fucking child. “why?” “why?” why are you like this. why can’t you let me go. why can’t you even just talk to me? you say nothing and ask me for the 7th time in an hour; “what’s wrong” i fucking hate that question. I tell you everytime “i’m not happy, i’m unsatisfied” and you then ask “why”. circles. fucking circles. so. unfortunately i’ve been talking to him again. and i’m sorry i know it hurts you but i’m starting to feel crazy with you.... like there’s something wrong with me & no matter how many times i explain you just don’t seem to hear... or understand.... or know what i’m saying.. it’s disappointing it’s embarrassing... my friends ask “what’s up with him”. all i want is to be happy... satisfied.... you’re drowning me.

I’m trash.