So.. where do I start? I’m from Germany, currently stationed in NC with my husband. We came here 2.5 years ago and had 1 baby last year October..

I’ve seen my family once since we came here. That was in 2017. We didn’t have the money or time to go there since my husband is in the military and can’t just take leave like that.

I’m in daily contact with my family. Via phone or chat! Now..here’s what happened.

My dad wasn’t feeling too good the last couple months. He first thought he had some virus like the flu. He went to the doctor but he told him he’s fine and he should stay at home until he feels better. Then he complained about his bones, that they hurt and he’s weak. His voice changed. He sounded so different, not like my dad how I knew him. He went to other doctors to find out what was wrong with him. NO ONE was able to tell him!! I had a feeling, my gut told me that he has something extremely concerning.. cancer. But my mum brushed it off, saying they did blood work etc they couldn’t find anything wrong! Then my dad complained about issues when he had to go pee, his lower back started to hurt etc

The last doctor appointment he had confirmed what we all suspected: they found out that he had prostatic cancer. During a scan they found it.. and it spread. To the bones, just what my dad complained about. And it’s progressed, they caught it too late. They can only help him by taking away the pain and stopping the cancer from spreading more..but we will see how things will go. If the hormone therapy will help, if everything else fails he needs to get chemo therapy.

How do I deal or cope with the anxiety of losing my own dad from cancer? 😔🥺 how do I not think about it all the time, thinking the worst of course.. while he’s sick and I’m here. Not knowing how long he’s got left (they couldn’t make a prognosis) No one in my family has ever had cancer, it’s just mind blowing that MY dad out of nowhere got cancer. Why him? 😞 I’ve lost my grandma, my grandpa, aunts and uncles... but my dad is my hero! He has yet to meet our daughter, his very first grandchild 😓

If anyone is going through something like this or has been through it.. I’d appreciate kind words or motivating words 😔❤️ I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that my dad has cancer and we can’t heal it, just make him feel better and enjoy the time we have left!