Just a warning it's kinda weird.

I started lyrical dance over the summer. I'm in contemporary now which is the next level after lyrical but the teacher is the same. Now here's the thing. When I first saw the teacher I thought that she was really pretty. But I didn't know that I liked girls yet.

So, on Wednesday I was asking her about how to get rid of some hip pain that I've been having. I had told her about it the previous Thursday. Anyway. Back to Wednesday. At the end of class she was sitting on a chair gathering up her stuff and I was standing in front of her asking about what I should do. She told me that she would ask the ballet teacher who specializes in injuries at our studio.

Then she put her hand on the front of my hip right below my pelvis and said "you said it's hurting here?" I said no and gently moved her hand around so her fingers were at the right spot on the side of my hip, behind my pelvis but in front of the glute, and her thumb was around the front.

I said she was really pretty, but I don't really ever get a crush on someone unless we physically touch, even if it's in a completely platonic way.

So now I kinda have a crush on her but she's 22 and I'm 14🙈 I can't stop thinking about the way her hand felt underneath mine and on my hip. Literally she takes my breath away when I think about her. Like I never understood that phrase before but I get it now. I know it's really weird.

And then yesterday we were talking and she asked me how I was doing and I said that that was an interesting question. I said that I had started to like someone and she gave me a high five. Then I casually came out to her by saying that my crush is a girl cuz that's my favorite way of coming out and if I know I can trust someone, I like to come out to them.

She gave me another high five but then she like closed her fingers so that we were like clasping each others hands I guess??? Idk how to explain it. Kind of like this I guess

I know that she meant it in like an "I'm proud of you for coming out to me" kind of way but I still can't stop thinking about it. Then I asked her what the ballet teacher had said and she told me and then I had to go.

I don't want to date her cuz I'm not ready for a relationship and more importantly it's illegal anyway, but I still feel like I should get over her. I just don't know how because I can't stop thinking about her. It feels wrong to me to have a crush on someone 8 years older than me even if I have no intention of dating them. Idk help me out here