So my SO is in the army he’s going to go to Eygpt next month, he’s been talking about marriage and so have I when we were talking about it I was happy and excited now I’m like whatever a lot has happen in my life a lot of negative stuff like my stepdad didn’t pay my school fee so I been out of school I still have to finish paying it out. He’s been a real negative entity in my life. Basically I’ve become really negative whenever I’m mad I put my feeling on like do not disturb and that’s how I deal with thing I knew my dude for 3 years now been together for two year at the beginning it was great I was emotional and happy. We can’t do a lot of stuff because we’re not married so yesterday I’m like sht why not let’s go get the license. He’s all about it and I’m just like w.e (planning on going to a therapist) but yeah I don’t wanna we him with anyone else, like if we break up I won’t be happy about it, whenever I’m sad or angry he’s the first person I turn to. I don’t feel love, or that butterfly sht lol. Use to at the beginning now it’s just 🤷🏾‍♀️. Is this normal ? Or I’m just a weirdo idk if I’m in love with him or rather I’m just scared to admit it. Help xD, how do you guys deal with emotions and love and feeeling