(Kinda long)

So growing up I was a goody two shoes. I babysat my nieces an nephews, stayed home, spent all of my time with my family ( older people/I’m the youngest ) and never did “teenage” things. So I say that to say, I never had any flirting experiences, summer flings with boys etc. I never had a bf until junior yr of hs. And I been in that relationship for 3 years. So now, me missing out on all those “teenage dating” experience are coming out of the dark. I’m craving innocent little flirting with guys, and the usually things teenagers do when they get into the liking people stage. And I keep saying “teenager” because those were the years I missed out on! So now it’s affecting my relationship. My honey doesn’t deserve anyone who craves attention and communications with other men. However I don’t like change, so breaking up with him means change. And lots of it. We’re deep in, 3 years! Families are close, and sooo much history between us two. But change is not the only thing keeping me, I also love him so much! And one might think, well how do you love him if you think about other men so on and so on , well I do ! I love him a lot, and just because I look/think about dating others doesn’t mean I don’t love the one I’m dating, it could just mean I love him a certain amount or not fiercely enough. Anyways, thoughts comments , advice! I love my honey and ik he deserves the world! So please no bashing.