What are some red flags in the “talking stage”? 🚩

Question

New to dating at 21 😭 I know I know. I started liking a guy and we’ve been texting since we’ve met, but he’s bad at responding. He says he likes me,but his effort doesn’t match.
We are both college students so I understand if he’s busy but....there’s free time sometimes. Are there other things I should look out for if I continue?

Answer

If the guy insults you and plays it off as joking around or just being playful.

Answer

You make plans to hang out and he’s always “busy”, talks about his ex, insists that all his exes are crazy, blames his lack of commitment on the fact that he’s supposedly been hurt before, one word replies, if the only times you hang out is when you guys hook up or are being physically intimate, he’s not clear on what he wants, dont go on actual dates, keeps you hidden

Answer

Multiple kids by multiple women. "Discreet" (means he's cheating on someone). Talks about how nice he is or insists he's a nice guy. Lots of generalizations about women.

Answer

Honestly as a college student too, don’t stress too much when you’re just in the “talking stage”. Some people don’t know what they want so don’t expect much lol In the talking stage you learn about the person based on what they tell you and share with you. When y’all go out on dates you learn their tendencies so I guess just keep an eye out on things they do and decide whether you like that or not cuz that’s the point of dating to see if you vibe with them.

Answer

I don’t think that it’s necessary to be in constant communication with him. Maybe instead of expecting communication all day, you can call each other on the phone every night or every other night instead. Give yourselves a chance to miss each other a little bit... live your lives and catch up a few times a week. With that said, real red flags would be that his words don’t align with his actions. For instance, he agrees to go on a date Saturday night, but then doesn’t show up. Or, says he likes or loves you but treats you like shit. I don’t particularly think being bad at responding to texts means he’s treating you like shit. It means he has a life to live when you’re not there. He does eventually respond, right? And he tries to spend time with you? As long as he is trying to spend time with you, and the time you have together is good, I think constant texting is not necessary. That’s just me though, you’re allowed to want what you want in a relationship. So if constant communication through text is something you need from him, just ask him to text more.

Answer

That’s a red flag. Saying one thing and showing another. You are young so game playing is very common but still, don’t waste your time on someone who acts like that. You shouldn’t have to wonder where you stand with anyone.

What are some red flags in the “talking stage”? 🚩

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