Mothers-in-law

My MIL told me a month before we got married that she wished we wouldn’t. In her words—if we “decided to call it off for now, and broke up later” she wouldn’t be surprised and she actually thought it would be best.

5 months previously she had convinced my future in laws that I was never going to let my husband see them post-marriage. My FH and I had officially moved in together prior to marriage, attended the university full time, and worked jobs around this. Therefore he wasn’t around them often, if at all (but not because I didn’t want him to be)

I also didn’t include my MIL and SIL in wedding planning I instead planned it with my own mom and sisters, and took them to get my dress etc and wanted to keep it a secret to everyone else because we had 6months between engagement and wedding day.

I had previously been super close to her and my sister in law, even more so than my own mom and sisters but had been trying to fix that—hence why I was exclusively including them in the wedding plans.

This fight caused such a rift between my future in laws and I. Almost a year after it all, all of them are great with me except my MIL who continuously makes snide comments to me and when i’m not around tries to give my husband “marriage advice for our difficult relationship” despite have zero problems since I made amends with the rest of them.

After the wedding, I tried to make things better and sat down with her, giving the

impression that we could put it all on the table and leave it behind. She ended up telling me I had jealousy/selfish issues and that I should go to therapy in order to “fix” everything that had happened. She also told me that she expected me to keep our children away from her, because of my selfishness and my desire to have them only love me and not want anyone else. (She was comparing this to how she thought I was with my husband and his time).

I grow crazier and crazier thinking of shit we’re gonna go through with her when we decide to have kids, or when we decide to move far away (which is a guarantee due to my husband’s plans, not my own). I’ll wake up one day and decide i’m not gonna let her get to me, then something happens and I’m planning how to keep my kids away from only her, just to spite her.

I want to be better though because it stresses my husband to know we aren’t getting along, especially when we used to be so great. I guess this is a rant but I need guidance somewhere. To how to be less bothered by myMIL and act like the grown up when she’s being childish.