Breastfeeding guilt

I wanted to BF so much, spent lots of money on LC, had around 5 sessions total! ~$1000 on all sessions and tools. My LO suffered 2 months because of me. His latch never improved and he is swallowing so much air that by this week his nursing sessions became 2-3 minutes total and then he is so disturbed, grunting, arching his back and crying so much because his belly hurt. I still want to give him BM, but I’m switching to pumping and will leave breast for soothing once in a while. I’m so defeated and depressed.