I feel like I’m forcing myself to be ready to start trying again. It’s not that I don’t want to, I’m just so so unstable I don’t want to put myself through anything else right now. Including the stress of <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android">tracking ovulation</a> and tww etc.

I had a heterotopic (miscarried the fetus in my uterus and had to have the ectopic removed) pregnancy in July and ended up losing my left tube. Finally my cycle is back to normal. Finally I don’t cry everyday. But I just can’t stop worrying. I can’t stop thinking about if I’ll be able to get pregnant again. I always wonder how long it will take and if it does take a long time if I can afford <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a> or if I would even want that. It goes on and on like this all day. It gets dark and sad and stressful. I try so hard to just relax and let my life happen and I’m having such a hard time. I have a beautiful 16 month old daughter and my husband is awesome. I know I’m putting them through hell with my frequent mood swings and it makes me feel bad.

I feel guilty that I’m not mourning the 2 lost babes like I was before. Which of course is adding to my stress. I’m so lost.

How did you ladies deal with learning to live the new life you have. Having known loss and grief but wanting to continue on your motherhood journey.