Help! What should I do about my friends rude child?

Question

Long story short.
My friends Son is rude and wild!
Hes 4 and hes always been unruly!
Hes recently started school and it's got worse.
Went down for a coffee today, and when he got in from school he started screaming at me...
"get out, you're not allowed here"
"I hate you"
"I'm going to hit you in the head with a hammer"
"I'll throw you in the water"
"I dont like you"
"Go away" 
They're the few I remember 
I held my composure and ignored him the best I can.
Whilst his mum (my friend of 25yrs) LAUGHED!!! his nan was there... laughed too!!
Seriously!? Wtf!
His behaviour was appalling and I'd never let my son speak to anyone is that way!
Now what do I do!? 
So I have a word with my friend and tell her to pull her finger out and start disciplining her son? 
Do I tell him myself next time hes like it?
Or do I just stop going there?
Help!
Thank in advance x

Answer

I don’t think you saying anything to either of them will make a difference. It’s not your child to parent or correct and trying to discuss it with the mom won’t change her mind. I would just stop going and if she asks, then tell her you don’t feel comfortable with her son’s behavior

Answer

If he was older, I’d say to tell him off. Since he’s four, I’d give the mom and grandmother a look and say “I would be so embarrassed if my child acted that way. You two need to stop laughing and get a grip.” Mic drop and walk on outta there. That’s ridiculous and they should be ashamed of themselves honestly. Kids like that annoy the shit out of me. If he was 8, I’d be more willing to tell him off but he’s 4 so that’s on them.

Answer

Sounds like they all have some serious issues. What the child is saying and the anger they are expressing is not normal and the fact that the mom and grandma think it’s funny is just making it worse and is so bad. That kid has and is going to have some serious issues. I personally would stop visiting and when they ask tell them exactly why. They may hate you for it but someone needs to tell them he has some serious issues and they are only hurting him for enabling it.

Answer

You have to let other parents parent their child(ren). I am the more “strict” parent compared to some of my husbands friends so when we go to their house I parent my child. But when they come to our house it’s my rules. Which means they can’t say ugly things, they have to pick up (and put back) toys etc. it works for us. The adults call me a hard ass but my child is well behaved and my husband and I reap the reward of good behavior because of it.

Answer

It doesn’t like anything will change as his family is positively reinforcing the behavior. I would avoid the child and hopefully you can still keep your friendship if it’s important to you. I would have a hard time being friends with someone who makes no attempt to parent their child who is clearly struggling.

Answer

Seems like there are some serious issues going on. If his mom doesn’t see it and ignores it, she is stupid. Stop going there. Don’t say anything. Fuck that, being disrespected and laughed at.

Answer

i’m sorry but i would honestly correct the child. i don’t tolerate disrespectful/bad kids. it’s obvious he has no guidance and if it isn’t corrected now, it’ll only get worse.

Answer

Also I was a teacher and had a kid like this in class. The mom was too nice and just babied the kid and it became a SERIOUS problem. They need to know he has issues and so do they.

Answer

I wouldn’t allow my child to do that!!!
Sonce the family think he’s hilarious there is no point talking to them.
If it makes you feel better you can tell the child that he is not kind, not nice to say that...etc...
I had a friend with a similar son although much older. He wasn’t rude just his behaviour! And the mother would rarely tell him to stop it.
Well I did in my house’
He’s not gonna jump on my furniture and climb and run against the wall. She didn’t like it but hey- my kid copies him and is not ok!

Answer

The fact that both mom and grandma were laughing shows that they really don't care. With that if you say something it's not going to do anything. I would personally stop visiting. If she asks why you tell her that her son's behaviour is appalling.

Help! What should I do about my friends rude child?

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