My oldest is pretty defiant. Doesn't want to follow simple rules. Says she isn't doing certain things then gets cause doing exactly what we told her not to do. This started at 11 and has only gotten worse and more drastic. She lies a lot! Which sucks because I want to be able to believe her - but don't know when anymore. Anyone have any advice? (Btw we have already tried counseling, talked to her school principal counselor. Taken stuff away etc.) We want her to realize we only want what's best. She is more than welcome to earn privileges back as long as she actually outs in effort to make better choices.

I'm at my wit's end. I love her, but she breaks my heart and seems totally unfazed about it.

Willing to listen to any advice you may have.

*She does suffer from anxiety but I don't think that "makes" her make bad choices*

•••Update•••

Hey ladies, thank you for your responses. If I went into detail about the lies I think it would make more sense. To break it down a little, she smokes (steaks cigarettes from me) I caught her in the bathroom smoking yesterday. She tattooed herself, she's snuck out, she had sex with a 19 yr old (when I specifically told this "man/child" how old she really was she continued to talk to him) she finds ways to sneak on social media (which she isn't allowed due to the poor choices she has made in the past and was talking to grown men). I'm trying to explain to her everything she is doing is setting her down a really bad path. I was rebellious when I was a teen but my shenanigans didn't start until I was about 16 year old. My father was super strick with me because he was European. Therefore he had different rules etc coming from another country. Not that my teens are any better than hers BUT I didn't do half the stuff she does over and over again. We give her an inch and she takes a mile. There's just been SO much she's been doing since the tender age of 11. She has no fear of punishment anymore. I'm currently looking into a weekend military bootcamp for teens which offer scaretactic and mentor methods to see if that helps at all. We love her beyond words and just want to see her succeed and not become a statistic.