I always wondered what it would be to have your dad in your life to actually care and support you. My parents were together until I was 7 and then they divorced. Prior to that tho I was always afraid of my dad. I don’t even recall or remember any memories of me and him just hugging or spending quality time together.

He was always cranky especially around children so because of that I grew up as a very shy and quiet person who felt like walking on egg shells around people.

Soon after my parents divorced my dad had another family with another woman. I would go and stay with him on weekend & in the holidays but I was just stuck sitting in a room all day making shit up in my head to let time pass and I hated going.

He barely took me anywhere or even spent time doing things I liked. If we did anything it would be watching sports or travel shows he likes. My step mother even did better shit with me.

After a while they all packed up and moved overseas for 6 years. Before he went overseas my mum asked him to help her pay braces for me and he refused even though he was working making good money. He made me call up his dad who I hadn’t seen in such a long time and I had to ask this man I didn’t even know and felt so ashamed.

In the 6 years my dad was overseas he didn’t once send me money, ask if I needed money, send any presents for any occasions or anything. If anything I copped abuse for not trying to stay in contact with him regularly??? While he’s the one who fucked off overseas

He came back and had gotten divorced from his wife so his all lonely now and I still try to be nice to him as his ‘my dad’ even though I can’t stand him

My mum told him that I had really bad depression and anxiety and went through bad times while he was gone and he never once asked me how I felt or if I was doing anything about it,

She also told him I needed a car and he told her that I should work hard for once.

I know a lot of people have it much worse as their fathers are not around at all or etc but it just kills me that I have mine around but it has never felt like that. Whenever I got myself into trouble or needed help he was never there for me. Or there at all. I see these other girls who have their dads supporting them and helping them grow and I get so jealous and wonder how different my life could of been

I’ve had to result to selling drugs before, doing fraud, even selling my body to random guys for money during tough times. My mother has helped me a lot and the best she can as she is a single mother.

And to make matters worse when I still try to be nice and talk to him now all he can do is ask about my weight and if I’ve lost any weight yet or be a dog to me pretty much.

I’m at the verge of exiting him out of my life completely but don’t know how to go about it . I don’t want to upset my grandma (his mum) either about it