I posted this in another thread so you might see it in another one.

This literally has been happening every month. Most of the time it’s on my period but sometimes it’s not. I love my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years now. He’s a great loving guy. Treats me well and understands my struggles. He’s also willing to deal with my ups and downs for this long without being rude about it. He’s so patient and kind. But randomly ill start feeling that anxiety and sunken feeling. I’m not sure if it’s the thought of being with him that brings it, idk what comes first, the feeling or the thought of being with him in the future. See, I a social bug and he’s not. I’m also pretty religious compared to him and he goes to church with me and stuff and respects me and my religion (we are both Christians) but idk... I still get the anxiety. I get unreasonably upset when he wants to spent saturdays with his friends, he doesn’t ignore me when he’s with them he still talks to me and gives me attention but idk... idk what this is. He has his own problems and anxiety too. He gets anxious about drives that are 25-30 minutes away, if we are going 2 hour away he literally won’t eat 24 hours before going and 24 hours again before coming back so weekend getaways are not really too possible and I would love to have these sometimes. I would love to just generally travel sometimes but I always feel like he can be a drag to travel with sometimes because of this anxiety of his. He has IBS which I understand why he has this anxiety and it’s valid but idk how to make this better. Also, he doesn’t work. Idk what he really does all day tbh. He is in school but he’s only in school part time, he is actively looking for a job now and I he’s excited about finding a job. Honestly, it’s not since recently where he figured out how to manage his IBS better, he says his IBS is the reason why he wasn’t doing well in school or getting a job because it was unknown when he would just have an episode. Our sex life is bad.... I just don’t have a sex drive like I used to... I have a history of abuse and he’s so understanding about it but I feel terrible because I know sex is important to him and I want to be able to have it without freaking out or feeling bad. This sunken anxiety feeling of wanting to push him away yet keep him close is weird, it also messes with my sex drive not even wanting it in the first place. His mom is having surgery soon and asked to hang out with him all weekend, when he first told me I got very upset but deep down I know it’s his mom and he should spend time with her... idk what to think or do :/ sorry this is so long but I guess I just need someone to talk this through with. Thank you for reading all the way down here if you have.