sorry so long

I’m currently 36+1, for this past week I’ve been having contractions off and on. At one point my contractions were about 5minutes apart and I had gone in to get check because I was only 35+3, so I was nervous cause it was kind of early, I get checked and I’m only 1cm, contractions stayed at 5min apart but they sent me home and said “come back when you are getting them 2-3minutes apart. I’m sure if you were in labor you wouldn’t be on your phone during contractions”. (This is my 5th pregnancy, and would be my 4th live birth, every time I’ve given birth I’ve been on my phone through contractions and usually I’m at 4-5cm dilated when I go in) so I head home.

Fast forward to 09-21 around 10:30, I’m experiencing contractions closer, so instead of timing them I go shower to see if I just need to relax and get comfy, once finished I go sit on the couch and watch my husband play games. I decide I need to time my contractions, I’m getting them every 2-3 minutes apart, an hour passes and decide I need to go in to be monitored. I’m monitored for about 30minutes and the nurse comes in and checks my cervix and tells me I’m still at 1cm dilated, but I’m having contractions about 2min apart. I get sent home again and now I’m being told I have to let my contractions get stronger and then go back in. (Also i lost my mucus plug. Like all of it)

All I want to do is cry. I’m so uncomfortable, I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m still getting contractions and they haven’t slowed down. I can’t just relax either because I have 3 children 9yr, 1yr10mon, and a 10mon old.

I just needed to vent my frustrations. Im so over being pregnant. I just want my body back. I want to hold my son and let my husband hold him too. I just want to cry.