Sexually assaulted at 14, help?.

Question

around a month ago I was sexually assaulted by this boy who I’ve never met I said no very clearly and multiple times even after screaming for help but he still proceeded to keep putting his hand down my pants and finger me and then kept pushing my head down many times. Even though it was over a month ago i still can’t stop thinking about it. I’m 14 and have no idea what to do. 
Please help

Answer

First off, I’m very, deeply sorry that happened to you.
All your feelings towards this are completely valid. 
Its not okay for someone to do that to you, and feelings of anger, guilt, shame, insecurity, confusion, sadness, loss, or even just an overwhelming feeling that you can’t exactly describe, youre not alone in those feelings, wether you feel one or all of them.
What’s important is your safety, and that you have support. 
Do you still have contact with him? Wether he’s from your school, church, a friend’s friend, whatever the situation is, especially if there’s a chance you’ll see him again, you need to tell someone sooner rather than keeping it to yourself. 
No disrespect to the previous commenter, but keeping yourself occupied or distracted is only going to shove those feelings down where they’ll fester and come bubbling back up even more intensely. Trust me, that’s how I tried to cope for 10 years and it broke me to pieces. 
Healing will come, I promise you. There are resources, support, and action that needs to be put in place.
First and foremost, is your safety. 
If you know you’re going to see him again, you need to tell your parents or a trusted adult before that happens. 
If you won’t have contact with him in the near future, your emotional healing is priority. 
Therapists and counselors are extremely helpful, as they know how to help you work through your feelings and how to find healing and peace, and security again. 
My therapist helped me get through trauma from my childhood that was of the same nature, even tho I’d convinced myself I’d never tell anyone or feel safe again. I hated myself over it. But when I say healing is available and achievable, I mean it. 
It’s scary. It’s hard sometimes to open up and tell someone. 
But it’s so healing and empowering. 
If you can’t afford a therapist, there are often group therapy options, but I totally understand if you don’t want to talk to strangers. Some people find it very helpful, others prefer to keep this stuff more private. Both are completely valid journeys to your own healing. 
But you really should tell someone. A parent, a friend, a counselor, just someone you trust and who will help you out. 
If you’d like, I can walk you through what will happen legally and personally when you tell a counselor or therapist, because they are mandated reporters which sounds scary but it’s actually a really good thing that, ultimately, made me feel safer and more taken care of and loved. 
Best of luck hon, and I’m here if you need to talk ❤️
Also. One last thing, AJR made a song called It’s On Us that I highly recommend. It’s a fantastic song benefiting a foundation that fights to prevent sexual assault on college campuses. Give it a listen ❤️

Answer

I am SO truly sorry you went through this... 
No one should EVER have to be put into that situation and feel trapped and have everything ripped from them in one instant. 
Please know from this moment on and for the rest of your life no matter what you go through- YOU ARE A SURVIVOR! 
When I was 15, a friend of mine returned from the army, I met up with him in the car and we went down the street from my house to catch up and talk trying to decide if we were going to a park or what plans to make. 
After talking, he proceeded to make some veRy hurtful comments to me which now I realize were to break me down, he told I had no friends, etc. he then proceeded to lock the doors, roll up the windows, grab my arm, and climb on top of me in the passenger door, all in a manner that I had no time to try and run. He held my hands above my head and reached down my pants and did the same thing... I screamed, I looked around everywhere looking for someone, anything. He bit my neck, my chest, he ripped my shit. I could feet cuts down there from how rough he was. 
By the grace of god my phone started ringing, it was my mom. He knew my mom from Mutal friends so he immediately got off of me and I answered her call in which she asked where I was and I said I was coming home so he drove me back and threw me into my driveway like nothing happened...
I collapsed there and broke down.
I called my best friend, my parents came out to find me in the driveway and we called the police. I had to go through an entire process.
But long story short, I fought it, I went to court as HARD as it was. I wrote my statement out, I faced him (hardly) and the judge gave him 1 year in prison and lifetime on the sex offenders list. 
My life spiraled out of control after that, I developed an eating disorder, I got heavily addicted to pain medications, I eventually attempted suicide and I was living a very wreck less lifestyle.. 
I have turned my life around full circle, I am now 24, sober, a CNA, in a nursing program, bold and strong and not afraid to admit when I know some days are too tough for me and I need to talk to someone cause we all have them!
My point in telling you all of this is, as long as you feel comfortable, please..... PLEASE say something. Go ask for help, make that person pay for what they did. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! 
You do not have to sit here and suffer in silence alone, engulfed by this.. 
There are so many people out there ready and willing to help you and fight with you! 
Talk with people dear, don’t hide away, don’t isolate yourself, don’t hurt yourself, don’t inflict inside. Don’t carry all of this on your shoulders. You can’t do it all alone. You shouldn’t have to. Your life isn’t mean to be that way. You have a very special life ahead of you, that because of this- you are going to come out SO much stronger and wiser than the rest. You will be able to help others one day. 
Right now focus on you, and if you ever need anyone! Don’t be scared to reach out! You are never ever alone💜 YOU CAN FIGHT THIS!

Answer

I'm sorry this happened to you. How you choose to heal is entirely up to you, but it can be easier if you talk to someone about it. I'm including a hotline number. I hope you are able to heal in whatever way works❤️

Answer

I know how you feel trust me , it's going to take time to get over it don't let anyone tell you to get over it , some take longer than others to get over stuff like this . Your doing right by taking the first step to ask questions , just keep your self occupied don't sit there and think about what happened over and over . Just   try to stay calm and talk about it to someone you trust keep your head up .

Sexually assaulted at 14, help?.

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