Baby Shower Anxiety

Selenah🧁🌸 • 16-14-11... and #4 🤰🏽 Love and Light 💕✨

I didn’t want a baby shower originally. Then I agreed to something small with my man. Now it’s all his family (40+ people) and he wanted me to cook for “our” baby shower. That I didn’t want.

Just spent $120 on baby shower decorations ... for a shower I didn’t want and money I didn’t really have. And he’s mad because I’m not “thankful” and not really “participating” (ie- texting everyone daily for the event). None of my family or friends will be there except 1. With our life the way it is right now, my anxiety has been crippling to the point I’m back in therapy. He makes a point to tell me 2 nights ago “they think you don’t like them”. I felt mean but I said “I can’t worry about what people think of me right now”. This whole ordeal has become something I just want OVER. I’m basically putting on a shower for people who apparently think I don’t like them and using my money to entertain them. For my baby. While 8 months pregnant. And being attacked for not being a ray of sunshine while it’s all happening. Not a single one of “them” have text me or asked what they can do. And I’m not wasting any more energy. But dammit, my anxiety about all of this has just been so intense. Send me good vibes and positivity over the next week. I’m gonna need it.