First Prenatal Visit Rant

Kathleen

I just need to vent what happened to anyone, maybe I’m in the wrong but I sincerely feel like it was the doctor and their office. TLDR at bottom

So today should have been an ecstatic start to the day. My husband and I went for our first prenatal visit! I could not wait to ask all my questions, see the baby, make sure everything was progressing nicely, the normal first time pregnant things. I had pre-filled out all my family history online so that it wouldn’t be as tedious at the appointment.

When we arrived, we were greeted so nicely and met a student who was working there, not a big deal it’s a teaching office. And she spent the next 20 minutes going through my family history. Appears that filling it out online did nothing. Okay, not a big deal.

Then the nurse midwife we’ve seen 3 times this year came in and reintroduced herself because she didn’t remember seeing us. Odd but okay. She answered our questions, very generically. (Like what symptoms should we immediately get checked out? She said any bleeding or cramping. Nothing about severity, just any. It’s normal to occasionally cramp and spot in the first trimester...)

Now on to the exam! Of which there was none. They had me pee in a cup then said we’d do bloodwork and exams next time. I’m 8 weeks along. I did have an “emergency” sono at 6 weeks due to one sided continuous cramping. Got to see the baby and heartbeat which was awesome. But this time she was very against repeating it.

On to the biggest issue ever. She then looked at the 6 week heart rate and was like “Oh. Oh no. I don’t mean to worry you but 94 bpm is low.” Okay, google says it’s normal since it’s early. Then she proceeds to spend about 20 minutes telling us how based on that we were probably going to miscarry before we saw her again! How it’s not my fault if it happens, 30% of women do and it’s natural, just be ready. And when we asked if she could do an ultrasound today to confirm baby’s still there/confirm heart rate (since that’s what we were told to expect at your first visit) she said maybe in a week if it’s still viable then. What?!?!? I don’t know, I don’t understand what prompted her to take that approach. I’m a healthy, 28 year old, 135 lb lady (I do understand miscarriages can happen to anyone) who did not need to have negativity shoved in my face this morning. Especially not for a first timer. I could get it if I was having other symptoms or if we hadn’t seen the heartbeat or something! But to blatantly just state that we are going to miscarry based on a heart rate from two weeks ago?? And to not try to re-check it same day??

We will not be going back to her or that office. I expected positivity and realism not negativity and cynicism.

TLDR: First prenatal visit didn’t include exam or sono just family history and pee. Doctor said I was going to miscarry based on 6 week sono/baby’s 94 bpm heart rate back then but didn’t want to recheck. Super frustrated.