This going to be long! I just need to get it all out.

I'm currently exactly 34 weeks pregnant. I am at FTM. Due to my medical conditions my husband, my doctors, and mostly myself decided for me to have a csection at 39 weeks + 1. I can't have an epidural or a spinal.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I started to do research on my options. After reading many birth stories about long labors and the common fact that FTM typically take longer to deliver a baby, I was terrified. I was terrified of trying to give birth naturally without pain relief and spending hours upon hours in labor. My doctors said they can give me IV drugs and laughing gas. Which I have read only takes the edge off of labor pains. My mother had a traumatic labor with me that she decided to share with me in great detail and she did it with an epidural! So I was very worried. I then read birth stories on women who have the same medical conditions as me. A lot of them described how hard labor was on their backs. They got through it, but a lot of them said it was a bit traumatic. A lot have also said their medical conditions got worse.

So that's when I started thinking about a csection. It was a tough choice. With a natural birth I would get to see my baby as soon as he was born and my husband would he able to actively participate in the birth. While with a csection I would have to be completely put under and my husband would not be allowed in the room. What's good about the csection is I won't have to worry about strain on my back, I can plan my child's birth, and I think my mental/physical health would be better from one. I talked to my husband about this. He was a little sad about not being there for the birth, but thinks it's the better option for my mental health, my physical health, and my child's health. He said we will still be able to bond with our child and get wonderful first moments. I also discussed the possibility of a csection with my mother. She was immediately sold on the idea due to knowing all of my medical history and her own birth experiences. I told everyone I would think on it.

After about 2 months of thinking about it, I decided that a csection is the route I wanted to go. My next step was bringing it up to my doctors. The first doctor I brought it up to was my High Risk doctor. I told him all of my concerns and how I think a csection was the best option for me. Let me say this doctor was wonderful! I have never felt so heard and understood by a medical professional in my life! The hosptial I go to is very Christian based and typically push for all natural birth. My regular obgyns always discussed vaginal birth with me like it was the only option. I told him all of my reasons why I was worried about labor and how I think it would be best for my health to get a csection. He agreed with my decision. He said I could have a natural birth, but the APA (American Pregnancy Association) says everyone has the right to chose their labor experience and get the pain relief they want. He said that if I really wanted a csection he would make it happen because he really did believe it was my choice. His only concern was if I wanted to have more than 3 children. He said that if I wanted a large family I shouldn't start with a csection since the more csections you have the more challenges you face. My husband and I only want one baby.The doctor said that's great and said he would write a letter to my obgyn that he recommends a csection.

I was nervous to go to my obgyn. I was worried he would disagree with the high risk doctor. I had nothing to worry about. He said they can schedule me a csection and go that route. If I go into labor before my csection date, just come in and they will do one on the spot. I was so relieved. I let my husband chose the date. He chose Oct 31st because Halloween is his favorite holiday.

Here's where my rant actually starts:

So today I shared with my work that I was getting a csection. I thought we were all pretty close and they should know because it means I'll be off work earlier. One of my coworkers was really mean about my decision. She said I was selfish for choosing to have a csection. That I'm taking the easy way out. That I'm taking away a precious moment from my husband. I explained to her my health issues and she said I should just tough it out. That if I was so worried about labor I should have never got pregnant. I was floored! I have never been so bashed in my life. I expect people to have opinions, but this was ridiculous. I'm deeply hurt by what she said. Now I'm worried to tell anyone else my decision to get a csection because I don't want to hear the negative opinions. I know I need to do what is best for me, my baby, and family.

TLDR; I chose to get a csection for my health and m coworker thinks its selfish.