Am I just insecure?

So, maybe this is just my skewed perspective because of my issues and the fact that my relationship is very much in the danger zone, but I feel like if it goes badly, I wouldn’t be able to find anyone.

I’m (at least as far as I can tell) way in the sub end of the spectrum, open to a lot of things, but very much needing security and lasting love. However:

- I have tons of anxiety, I likely have adhd, and have had severe depression in the past

- I have very little filter

- I am very committed to school, future career prospects, writing, and causes I care about that currently leave very little time for relationships

- I’m incredibly bad at dating

- As of now, I’ve had basically no physical experience

- I’m really shy

- I feel that I look...just alright. It seems to me that either you have to be stunning or have some spectacular amount of confidence.

And there’s probably more. Basically, from my perspective my prospects are in the toilet and I should just give up.