Okay so I hope that this isn't a judgemental place. I am about to be 37 yrs old and I'm pregnant with my second. I have a 5 yr old,I was a single mother for 5 yrs, from a previous relationship. I was living in New York, where I'm from, and reconnected with this guy I knew 17 yrs ago back in September. We started a long distance relationship and video chatting every day. He came to visit me in November, then I came to Dallas to visit him in December. Then he came again I think end of January and I made a trip, with my son in tow this time for their first official meeting, in March. Then on May 15th 2019 I moved to Dallas to be with him and my son. Background on him is, he is 43 yrs old and never wanted kids until he met me, or so he says. Okay so I move here and for the first 2 months we are living in his one bedroom apt. He completely ignores my son and has no time for trying to get to know him, which in turn made me so uncomfortable. He had a dog that he was obsessed with. We then moved July 26th to a 2 bedroom apt. He said that once we moved he would be better with my son, which he was. He started to try and have a relationship with him, which I appreciated. Then on August 8th I found out I was pregnant. He didn't believe me at first and I had to take 3 tests before he would. So that was discouraging. Then my hormones went crazy and I ended up hating him and just finding him disgusting. Now I'm at the point where I feel like I know I don't love him and I don't see us together. There are just so many things about him I just don't vibe with. But then the other part is like maybe it's hormones still. And I just don't know if I should bring another baby into this world knowing I'll do it alone and knowing how separated it will be from me and my son(bc this guy will actually be a good father). And I'm also scared to have another and go through it all again. Now that my son is kind of independent. I always thought I wanted more than one kid, but now actually being in it I'm not sure. I'm at a super crossroads and don't know what to do. I love spending time with my son and I want to be there for him as mush as possible. He has ADHD which is challenging at times and parenting him can feel like parenting 10 kids at the same time. Not sure what to do about it all.