I have two kids. My youngest is only 10 months old

I knew after my 10 month old I did not want more kids because it was a hard pregnancy (also had a stillbirth the year before she was born).

My SO and I are struggling mentally with each other 1/2 the time because our daughter has been in the hospital about 1/2 her life. It took a huge toll especially after we were already still recovering from a stillbirth.

I just found out today that I’m 3 1/2 ish weeks pregnant.

I live in Texas. Never have considered an abortion before and always said I’d choose life but here I am crying and terrified. I don’t feel any want for this baby. I don’t feel like leaving my job and I don’t want to bring another child into a home that is still struggling mentally.

I’m sorry this is so long. I don’t even know if I’m making sense. I just need someone to talk to ...

Also. My SO really wants more kids. Really wants this baby. He told me it is my choice 100% but I know it’ll break his heart. We may not be great... but I do care. I don’t know what to even do anymore