Is my dad being abusive or just a father?

I’ll start off by saying me and my father had always been close till about over a year ago, there has been some big changes and only through those and some major distancing have I been noticing things he does and how he treats me that haven’t seemed normal, my mental health worker, partner and various other people think what he’s doing is wrong but I’m not sure, I’ve been around this all my life and I think maybe I dumbed out a lot of it.

He has a lot of problems communicating like an adult even when I reassure him it will work easier and better in the long run? Like constant silly arguments get caused because he chooses to get angry and throw things around or slam doors rather than actually tell me what’s wrong and why he’s upset, it’ll take a few hours of bad mood swings before he actually comes out with it and when he does it’s explosive, rude and causes fear/upset then he calms down after he’s got it all out verbally and sometimes physically with breaking/slamming things. It causes huge atmospheres in the home and I already have severe diagnosed anxiety. He won’t explain things nicely, he constantly degrades everyone by saying if we don’t get something or it doesn’t actually makes sense he will say we’re just slow or not intelligent enough to understand, leaves mess for me to constantly clean up after whilst heavily pregnant, takes no caution or risk to using harmful chemicals and smoking around me, he has all my finances tied up and all my paperwork, whenever I try to get any aid or help he has to sort it and gets angry when I try to be independent but then also angry because I’m not being independent at the same time? He doesn’t ask for help, he literally demands it and if you don’t give in, he finds a way of making the atmosphere very uncomfortable till you give in or then will just start slamming doors, breaking/throwing things and being rude or nasty. Beginning of this week we got into a nasty argument over finances because I tried to sign on for some governmental help and forgot he had hidden savings in my account, so if I signed up for it the money would have been taken so he shouted at me till I was in tears and shaking and then said the worst thing yet “if you do anything to fuck anything up for me I’m going to kill you and then myself”

I haven’t told anyone yet because I’m still in shock but is it just his anger? Are other people’s parents like this? Maybe I’m over thinking it and just not realising how hard i am to live with?