Update 1:

Thank you lady’s for being honest with me! I don’t mean to seem petty or immature. I don’t ever say anything or act on any of this just my personal feelings. I always am nice to her and I’ve tried to make our relationship better but she just doesn’t seem to care. The only reason I added the sexual partner stuff was to give more of an idea of how she acts. She has the attitude of a 16 year old that acts out to get attention all the time. She just irritates me. If she wasn’t dating my brother we wouldn’t get along at all.

My biggest thing I can’t get over is the disrespect she has for my family. How do I get over the fact? Like she will literally give my husband dirty looks when he is around and just be a bitch to him. Same with my mom too. She will give my mom nasty looks and tell her that she needs to do this or that and this has been going on for 4 years. My brother pushes it off so now my mom just deals with it and stoped fighting her.

Anyways. How do I brake the wall in my mind. Don’t say “just get over it” trust me I’ve tried. I’ve even tried to talk to her about it and she got mad and told my brother lies about what the conversation. I’ve tried to leave the room so we aren’t in the same room but then I’m “too rude”. I’ve tried to small talk and simply be and acquaintance but even still it’s not good enough.

HELPPPP

So my brother is on a cruise with his gf and he is planning on purposing while on the trip (was supposed to do it Tuesday). I don’t like her attitude towards him, my husband, or our mother. She’s always flashy with what the wears. Low cut tops and tight jeans always making it a point to show her body off. She and my brother fight alllll the damn time and I’ve even seen her (and him) hit one another out of anger. They are very toxic but veeery “in love”. I want to speak about it and ask if they are sure they are wanting to be married. He tells her allll the time that she annoys the hell out of him and he’s “fed up with her”. She’s a brat and thinks that she should get anything that she wants. She never helps my mom at the house, yet she is over every day even weekends. She will cook for my brother instead of them eating what my mom cooks. She won’t help clean dishes when we have family dinners when my husband and I come visit. Oh and on top of it all she always seems like she is flirting with my father. She’s 23 and my brother is supposedly her first partner in bed. I don’t believe this at all but that what she says. She for sure is my brothers first he told me after it happened.

My brother and I are...were insanely close. We are only a year and a half apart age wise. He’s been my best friend and we have always been open with each other about everything. Now we hardly talk about anything. I was the last to know that he was planning on purposing. I haven’t even seen the ring. I know life goes on and we don’t live in the same house so we aren’t gonna talk every day. But I mean he used to tell me EVERYTHING. Then she came alone saying that we baby him and we spend too much time together. That since he is out of high school he should spend his time with her and his friends not family. We split holidays and they spend most of the days with her grandparents (whom she lives with).

Yeah I’m married and moved to a different state (my husbands military). We still talk at least one or two times every few weeks. But it’s been getting shorter and shorter each time because she’s always around. I’m very happy that he is happy but I just wish it was with someone besides her. She believes that you shouldn’t live within 30 minutes of your in laws house and holidays should be one family every now and then. My brother works for our parents and she can’t stand it. Says that he spends “too much time with them”. She wants kids as soon as they get married and two years ago she said he wasn’t sure he even wanted kids and was set on that until I got married in January. She pushed him about getting married and would literally get mad when someone ask if they were planning on getting married. She would huff and puff saying shit like “at this point I don’t see the point he’s never gonna ask” “I’d be fine with eloping but I have to have the ring”. She ALWAYS “forgets” to take her birth control then freaks out every period cuz she’s irregular because of it.

Am I a horrible person for not liking her or am I right for feeling this way? Please be honest!