This is going to be long but I need to get it all out. I miss my ex boyfriend so bad. So bad that it hurts. Last year I got pregnant and as my pregnancy progressed our issues grew, not necessarily because of the baby but just because a difference in expectations and lack of effort on both of our parts. It was mostly that he didn't make our relationship a big enough priority. We broke up when I was about 7 months. Right after that he apologized and wanted to work on things but because of our past I was scared to try again and afraid of getting hurt so I couldn't bring myself to do it. We ended up having disagreements afterwards that I think we're magnified by him being hurt and stressors in our personal lives. Because of anger I didn't tell him I was in labor or that our son was born until I got home. Obviously that was hurtful and I didn't consider that in the moment. Well as time goes on I really miss him. I want to try again. I want to be a family. Now he wants nothing to do with me. His family wants nothing to do with me. It hurts. I made a mistake and I do regret it. This whole situation has turned out to be one of the most painful things as well as the most amazing because of my son. I just want him back, I want us back. He wasn't perfect but he made me feel good. He made me feel cool or special. It's stupid..