Hi Ladies,

Would love your input as this has been weighing heavy on my heart.

My father has Multiple Sclerosis, he's suffered from this autoimmune disease for about 10-14 years (was diagnosed years after he got it). He has the progressive MS which basically means he is deteriorating very quickly. He has lost complete movement in his left leg, lost movement in right arm & has a permanent shake now due to the disease. He is still "somewhat" mobile, he can walk with a walker pretty good but ideally should be in a wheelchair (his pride gets in the way). He is unable to live on his own and needs assistance to function.

Back in 2016 he went into cardiac arrest and was in an induced coma and in the ICU for 10 days. The doctors believed his brain damage was too severe and that he couldn't make it. We were told this on that Monday (Thanksgiving day) and had until Wednesday to make a decision to pull the plug if he didn't progress by then. Miraculously, on Tuesday night around 11pm he started showing signs of consciousness, so we begged the doctors to extend our decision. After a hard fight, my father pulled through and had basically no brain damage although he was technically dead for "10 mins" without a heartbeat before the ambulance brought him to the hospital.

After my father recovered, he has a different outlook on life and was excited for a new start. However, fast forward to now, he is severely depressed and his MS is getting worse.

My son was born on March 3rd, my sister and brother in law made plans to pick up my dad and bring him to the hospital to meet his grandson for the first time. He backed out last minute with no "reason". He then didn't see my son until he was almost 4 months! It was a short visit but nonetheless, a visit. My sweet boy is 7 months old and my father has only seen him twice since he was born.

This weighs heavy on my heart because I feel somewhat resentful that he didn't make it to the hospital as he promised. It meant a lot to me, especially after him going into cardiac arrest back in 2016 l, I truly thought I lost my dad then and one of the things that hurt most was that he will never meet my children one day. Fast forward to now where I have our first child and his first ever grandchild, he didn't make much of an effort to see him. To add to this, my Dad didnt speak to me until 3 months postpartum (we usually talk everyday) but I think he felt so awful for not showing up that he ignored me in a sense.

Sorry for the long rant, if you made it here, thank you for listening. I just hate that I feel so resentful towards him.