The first memory that I have of being sad for no reason is from when I was 10 years old, I told one of teachers and she said “when you’re feeling sad you could try eating a chocolate”... go figure I’m a chocolate junkie, but that’s not what it worries me, it’s just that nobody ever takes this sadness seriously, I don’t know where it comes from or why I feel this way, nobody understands and I don’t either cause I had a normal childhood I had everything I need it, I went to college I had everything but I’m still feeling sad and I’m full of insecurities I hate myself and I can’t help to cry when I think about the future... The way I coped with this was by keeping myself busy, going to school, dance clases, going out, going to concerts, learning new hobbies ... but as soon I’d stop this sadness would take over, now as a SAHM is worse than ever... I feel so useless... like I have nothing to offer or to be proud of... cause I don’t even think I’m a good mom... I don’t recognize myself anymore... I think about suicide every day, I think that it wouldn’t make any difference, an I can’t get the help I need cause I don’t have insurance and nobody takes me seriously not even my old therapist... I’d like to have someone to take to, someone who listens or somewhat understand that I don’t know why I’m feeling like this...