I just need to talk...

I'm 16 and I'm not looking for pitty but I do know I need to talk about this I was raped a total of 4 times the first when i was around 5 then it happened again when i was 12 and again at 13 and then 15, I haven't really talked about any of it because i figured it would be easier to stay quiet but it's just been coming back to where im almost reliving it and i can't control it and every time it was someone I knew and it hurts worse knowing that because I could have seen it coming and i know its my fault but I felt like I wasn't in my own body and i couldn't even move after I remeber screaming for help but no one came and I'm having nightmare I dont sleep anymore and i just see they're faces and i hear their voices in my head when i close my eyes and i don't know what to do.