Should I Leave Him?

Question

I've always had trust issue with men. Growing up as a child, it was just me and my mom... There were no male a role in our house.
I'm now 5yrs into my first marriage and lack to trust him for no apparent reason. I can be somewhat paranoid or have a fear of being cheated on...
My last relationship before this kind of scarred me or has hung over me and all my doubts about my current spouse.,.
The guy I was with before was an ass, to say the least.
The only time that's caused me to doubt my spouse is after not even a month of marriage, I caught porn on his phone..  That shot everything. I've tried to let go... And in return I did it to him I guess (don't anymore). 
Anyway, my husband hasn't at least of what I know and hasn't done anything suspicious. I'm just struggling to trust. We have almost 3 kids... 
I'm just really feeling down and doubtful in things in general. Idk if it's better to just throw it all away now or live with my struggle to trust.  
I'm also having a lack of confidence to talk to him about things like our sex life and what not.... 
Can any other women in my shoes help with suggestions?

Answer

Hi dear, I think you need to open up to your hubby and tell him about how you really feel. I will also encourage you to get counselling. Pouring out your heart and being sincere really helps you know

Answer

You should never let a previous relationship affect your feelings toward your husband.  Also if you have concerns you should be discussing them with him. What is it exactly that makes you want to leave him?  I don’t think porn is a big deal, but if it’s a problem for you then you need to talk to him about it. Holding this all in to yourself isn’t fair to him.

Answer

I don't think your only options are to give up or live with it. I think this is something that you need to work through. Have you been honest about these feelings with your husband? This really seems like you're bringing a lot of the insecurities of your last relationship into this relationship. Ending this relationship isn't going to make these feelings go away. 
There are things I'm insecure about that my husband knows about because we've talked about it. I'm not always the best at talking about it but I can say 'hey I'm feeling insecure about the relationship right now' and he'll reassure me. Sometimes it feels uncomfortable to start out with but I always end up feeling better talking to him about it. 
The same goes for talking about sex with your husband. It'll be uncomfortable at first but I imagine your husband would rather know than keep doing things that you don't like. You could try writing it down instead if it really makes you uncomfortable saying things out loud?
You don't have to try and talk about everything all at once. Start with one thing and then build from there 🙂

Answer

I think you need to have some form of relationship counselling. This isn’t fair on him either and you need to be able to talk about anything to make a relationship work so even if you do give up on your marriage (which atm I don’t think you should) it’s going to happen in other relationships you may have in the future if you don’t find an appropriate way of dealing with and releasing this fear you have

Answer

I had issues trusting my new husband at first but i let go of my past and let him show me how someone can be trustworthy. He makes me feel so at ease. My advice is either relax and allow things to fall into place or theres no shame in therapy. Living your life under that kind of stress everyday doesnt sound like fun. It really sounds like your husband is worth sticking by and working it out rather than being alone like you said.

Answer

I wouldn't throw it all away because of a previous relationship. I honestly dont think porn is a big deal (it upsets me more when he watches it without me). I understand the confidence to talk to him about your sex life and other things but the beat thing to do is talk about it because not talking about it can make the whole situation worse

Should I Leave Him?

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