Hear me out...I’m married, 2 toddlers, and yes I love my husband.

I’ve been having terrible self confidence issues lately between my husband choosing porn over me, a failing sex life with said husband and never feeling like I’m enough for him. Every time I post my feelings on this app everyone always says “porn is no big deal” don’t compare yourself to them” “it’s only natural” but I can’t get over the idea of him getting off to another women when I’m there ready every time.

I know a lot of my feelings/frustrations about porn stem from my own confidence but I am completely lost on how to gain any when the one person I need to reassure me doesn’t. Part of me wants to join a dating app, not to actually date but to see if anyone would even find me remotely attractive. I know, I know, when I write it down it sounds so awful and cruel to do to my husband but as someone who doesn’t like porn myself I want to find another way to feel connected and wanted.

I don’t want any hate for this as it’s only a thought and I’m not sure I’d ever actually follow through with it. Any other ideas/advice to boost confidence in myself?