I don’t think my moods swings are normal but like today was rough! I was not in a good mood this morning then I napped and felt better. Then it felt like everything my bc would do would irritate the shit out of me. Then I just dropped him off at school and I felt a release but not a good one I wanted to sob and cry. So I did when I got home I laid on the ground and watched my dog breath as I contemplated death and how I want to be a live or do I. Then for some reason, maybe an over specialize post I saw on insta made me want to master bate and so I did for over an hour watching porn. Now I’m feeling normal but the drop from so low to fine in a matter of 3 hrs really doesn’t sit well with me. Like I said just venting bc I felt I needed someone to hear it. There’s not really anyone I can talk to anymore. Just feeling very alone.