My husband and I are so distant. We use to be so close but then we got married (2016) and slowly he started going crazy! I use to love football but now I dread the season because he’s always so angry. Things he says and stuff he does is just...psychotic! And it’s not just sports! It’s everything. His sock was two inches out of place in his dress? Anger. Kids (2&1) leave a toy on the floor? Anger! I hate when he’s alone with the kids. I know he won’t hurt them but I just don’t want them acting like he does. We never have sex anymore and he seems angry about that too but I just can’t make myself have sex with him anymore. He’s not the man I fell in love with. I don’t know who he is. And I have this nagging feeling he’s cheating. He won’t initiate sex except to grab my butt or boobs for a split second and thinks I should know he wants it from that. When I turn him down and explain to him it’s because of his anger issues he gets even angrier and starts asking if I’m cheating. We fight everyday.

I had a chemical on Easter and we agreed to try for another baby in February. This was before the anger really started. Now he’s telling me I’m crazy for wanting another baby and how he will never want another. We agreed before we got married on 3 kids. I’ve always been a kid person so I dropped how many kids I wanted from 5 to 3 because of him. I guess considering everything that’s going on that it probably best if we don’t have another one...all of this is just breaking my heart. I always dreamed of being the happy married couple with happy kids in a big house with enough money for our bills and anything else we wanted. But I’m not happy. I think daily of leaving him but I don’t because my religion won’t let me and I have no way to support my children. I refuse to let my in laws watch them while we work because they’re...well, stupid and I don’t trust them for a second. And if I do daycare it’ll take every penny I could make from a minimum wage job because I didn’t go to college. I got married right out of high school and didn’t see the need.

I’m sorry this was all over the place but I just needed to get this off my chest.