Should I let him just cry it out?😭

Question

So I know you can not spoil a baby but my son is a little over 6 months old and he screams every time he can’t see me. He also can not be put down for longer than 10 minutes or he starts screaming for me to pick him up and this has been going on since he was 2 months old so I never get anything done. Here Lately he won’t sleep unless I’m holding him. Even at night! He won’t sleep in the bassinet or his crib which is what we’re trying to transition him to. He won’t even sleep in the bed laying right beside me, he has to be in my arms. I know people are iffy about using the CIO method but what else can I do? I let him cry for about 30 minutes last night in his crib. He was fed & changed but he still screamed until he got hoarse😭. Does anyone have any suggestions? I’m a new mom so I have no clue what to do

Answer

Hold him. My first and third baby's were both high needs. With my first I tried to separate from him because that's what everyone told me to do. By the time I had my third, I knew better. I would babywear him everyday, even at home. I slept with him at night and kept him close. He naturally started to explore the world on his own when he was ready. Now my youngest is 6 and my oldest is 12. I can see the difference in how they trust me and relate to me. If I ever had another high needs baby, I would keep him close until he was ready.

Answer

Honestly , 30 minutes it's way too long. You shouldn't even let him CIO for more than 10. i can't imaginr letting my son cry for 30 minutes. 
My son used to be the same way, but i started to play with him, give him some toys ( He's 5 months , 6 in 2 weeks ) He has a favorite toy. I sing to him, i talk to him. I lay down with him & pat his back until he falls asleep. Sometimes he'll nap on my chest, but not always. Does he have a bouncer, a swing ?

Answer

Absolutely not. Infants can not self regulate before they learn to co regulate and that takes different amounts of time for each baby. All you're teaching them at this age is abandonment and that their needs will not be met.

Answer

Personally, I wouldn’t CIO, but I’m not here to bash anyone who chooses to do it. 
These are just my thoughts - 
My daughter is 6months now and up until about 2 weeks ago, I was in a similar situation as you. She hates being put down, would never entertain herself and just wanted me close to her. Granted, it was never as bad as you describe it, but there was a point when she was waking up every 1-2hrs at night and we were so close to breaking point. 
But things got better. I kept her close. I chose to meet her needs and hold her for naps and spend every waking minute with her. It has been the toughest 5 months of my life, but we have made immense progress. 
She is getting more and more independent every day. She is sleeping well at night and is just an all-round happy kid. 
This is my experience, and I hope you can make it through this tough phase too. 
I always recommend the FB group - The Beyond Sleep Training Project, to anybody who is listening. Members in that group are full of great advice and it is nice feeling supported and knowing that this behavior is normal, that there are thousands and thousands of babies who have the same high-needs. 
Good luck

Answer

This is a really personal choice. My first kid cried and had to be held all the time and woke several times a night. There were times when I really regretted not just letting her cry it out because my husband and I were soooo tired. Now that we’ve made it to the other side we wouldn’t change it and have no regrets.

Answer

If you’re interested in sleep training, I’d highly recommend the books “Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child” and “How to Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problem.” They’re both fairly popular, so you should be able to find them in the library if you don’t want to buy them.
Lots of people are iffy about sleep training, but there is no evidence that it negatively affects your baby’s attachment to you or their development. Sleep is sooooo important for your baby AND for you! With my first, I tried co-sleeping and all of that when my daughter was waking up hourly at 3-4 months, but I couldn’t relax enough to sleep with her in my bed. When my second was struggling with sleep, I didn’t have the luxury of holding him to sleep for naps and bedtime because I had another child who also needed me. I was getting so stressed by my son’s sleep issues that I was a terrible mother—yelling at my kids, being so angry that I’d throw my phone across the room and slam doors, etc—but now that he’s sleeping better (and I’m sleeping better), I am so much more relaxed and so much better able to be a present and caring mother for my children.
Do your research. Talk to your partner. Consult with your doctor. Make the decision that is right for you and your family.

Answer

Did u let him until he fell asleep or did u pick him up?

Answer

Sleep training. Definitely. My daughter is still clingy during the day, but she sleeps amazingly at night! ❤️

Answer

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Should I let him just cry it out?😭

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