I never liked myself and it’s not because of my appearance it was just because how I just wasted my whole fucken life worrying about what people said thought ,told me and how it still bugs me I just let stupid shit fuck with my brain and emotions and look at me now hard to fucken build myself up I don’t wanna be sad anymore I don’t wanna give a fuck I wanna do shit for me but I just can’t I hate everything about me and honestly I wanna die but to fucken scared I just keep letting myself down I use to disappoint everyone and I’m my eyes I never thought I was a disappointment until my love ones told me and treated me like I was and so my mind started to believe everything and now well my depression grew and grew year by year and now we’ll no one else to disappoint but myself I’m tired of crying I just wanna go I honestly wish I was bum never alive I feel it in my gut I have no purpose here at all I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder so that just makes life fucken harder for me i feel like I’m not human at all this shit hurts so bad and Im giving up slowly while I fight to get up I’m at war with myself yes I’m aware I need help but the thing is no one really actually cares doctors tell u it’s ok you’ll get over this here’s a prescription like ok the drugs will numb me and I’ll feel nothing like I do now feel empty and fucken cold and alone might as well smoke my weed, I know I’m not okay I admit I’m fucked in the head I can act the part that I’m ok and happy but fuck I’m tired I’m emotionally and physically mentally tired sleep can’t even fucken help me