I might regret this, but can I hear your D&C experiences?

Question

I should be 12 weeks today but we found out on Tuesday that our baby stopped growing at almost 10 weeks. Against my wishes and my better judgement, my doctor is (I feel like) forcing me to go for a D&C this coming Tuesday. I am petrified. Of being put under, of losing our baby completely, of all of the complications that can happen. I've never had a surgery before and I'm not sure if I'm more panicked about possibly not waking up or ending up even more infertile than I was before. I could really use some experiences as to what to expect, especially from those who conceived or have been trying to conceive after.

Answer

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard.  I would recommend just going ahead with the d&c purely out of my personal experience. I started bleeding at 11w2d and found out that baby had stopped growing at 8w5d. I was given the option on what to do and decided to let my body do it naturally. It was awful. It is literal labor with no pain relief and lasted about 12-16 hours. The amount of blood is insane. I almost passed out on the toilet. I was literally using my sons diapers as pads were overflowing in mere minutes. Well that didn’t work out. Even after that I still had placenta left that didn’t come out. So they prescribed me pills that were inserted vaginally. That didn’t work either. Then I had to get the d&c. It was very easy. I had never had anesthesia or surgery before either and it was pretty great to be honest. I don’t remember anything, it was fast, and I went home a couple hours later with just mild cramps and bleeding for the next few days. It didn’t mess with my fertility either. I am now 13 weeks (tomorrow) pregnant. Good luck to you. I hope it is as painless a process as it can be in every way. ❤️

Answer

My first MC was a D&C. We did it because we wanted to do a genetic test on the baby to find out if there was a problem with our chromosomes but the test came perfect. I was sedated and wake up without problem. I felt cramps for a couple of days... nothing really bad and bled for about a week and a half. My second misscarriage was a Bligh Ovum so I just starting bleeding and didn’t even have cramps or any pain at all but I have read that when there is an actual baby is really painful but you get to see your baby when comes out. I don’t think I could have handle it but there is some confort for some people in it. Don’t let your doctor preassure you. They of course make money with the D&C.

Answer

Honestly I would do it.   
I had the same thing your going through literally same times when loosing mine. 
I was told past nine weeks you should have a d&c it’s a Better option to clear the cervix and allow for another pregnancy when ready. And I honestly thought it was a better option as my body hadn’t done anything for 2 weeks itself and I couldn’t bare the thought of passing my baby after already dealing with the news that I had miscarried.
It’s a personal decisions 
But best one I made I’m 3 weeks post back to normal sex life, and started ovulating so should expect next cycle in a week, and me and my partner will hopefully try again .  
Wishing you the best x

Answer

I just went through my 5th unfortunately, and I am so so sorry for your loss. Every time was just as terrifying as the last, but I had great nurses and docs by my side, and my husband the whole time. They gave me meds to calm my nerves, made sure I was in zero pain and gave my husband and I plenty of alone time before they wheeled me back to the OR. I was also terrified of being put under but after the anxiety meds I was pretty carefree lol, it literally just feels like a little nap! The whole procedure is about 30-45 minutes, and recovery was pretty painless physically. I was also prescribed pain meds, enough for a week which is all I needed. It was honestly a way better choice for me than passing them naturally, I think it would be insanely more emotionally and physically traumatizing. Best of luck ❤

Answer

I have had to have 2 d&c’s unfortunately, and I was absolutely terrified the first time for everything. Mostly the complete and utter loss of our baby, there one minute and completely gone the next. But I knew it was the best option and went ahead with surgery, and it was quick and painless very easy to recover. Fast forward to the next time, I knew how it went and was ready to go but the night before my appointment I started to miscarry naturally and it was excruciating! It was hours of contractions and pain, and the bleeding was unreal! I couldn’t leave the toilet, it was everywhere. There is nothing that can help with that amount of blood. Dr said to go for surgery as planned the next morning and I could barely walk, I’ve never been so weak, not even after giving birth. All of my veins were nonexistent, so getting the IV was practically impossible. I WILL never let that happen again! It took days for my body to recover, almost a full week. I definitely recommend the d&c to everyone, but it is ultimately your choice and your right to choose what’s best for you!

Answer

My D&C was my first surgery too. My OB let my body try to figure out, but it just wasn’t happening and she wanted to move forward with the surgery for my own safety. 
Like you, I was terrified of officially saying goodbye. This wasn’t what I wanted, the baby was already so loved, and I was just holding onto something that wasn’t meant to be (hindsight is always 20/20). I asked for two extra ultrasounds to be 1,000% certain that baby had passed and asked for an ultrasound picture bc that was all we would ever have of our little one.
I was definitely anxious the day of. However, the nurses and doctors were all so sweet and compassionate - I felt like they were going through it with me. Our hospital does preserve the remains for a funeral service they put on two times a year for other babies/families in the same situation. I was thrown off guard by that option (I didn’t know it was a thing), but we decided to do it and was glad for it after the fact - we went to the funeral too. If opted out, the humanely take the remains elsewhere. 
The surgery was easy, and TBH, after a couple weeks of being an emotional mess, it was the best nap I could’ve asked for. I felt quite rested then went home and slept most of the day away.
I was back to school/work the next day. I had minimal cramping/bleeding, felt okay emotionally, and needed a good distraction. The nurses thought I was nuts when they called to check-in lol.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You’ll always carry this with you, but it gets easier. Hang in there!

Answer

I had my D&C 10 days ago for a miscarriage at 9 weeks 3 days. I’m glad I did it. I didn’t have pain or have to watch my baby pass with the placenta with excruciating cramps. I think the fact that you’re dealing with a loss is traumatic enough. I just didn’t want to put myself through a natural one and bleed for a couple of weeks. I bled for 24hrs then spotted for 4 days. That’s it. Then I got to focus on me emotionally moving on properly. I’m still testing positive to pregnancy tests but I’m going to check on Friday again at 2 weeks and hopefully I’ll ovulate again in the next 2 weeks to begin to start again. Good luck!

Answer

Your Dr doesn't get to tell you what to do. YOU have the power and it's your body. Do the d&c or ask for the pills instead. I personally wanted to be in the privacy of my own home and I wanted to see the sac when it came out so that I could shroud it, hold it and my husband and I cremated the sac together and have the ashes. My Dr told me there was less risk with the pills and that recovery after d&c would be longer. There are times the pills may not work and you have to do a d&c anyway but for me it was worth the risk. I didn't want to forget anything, I didn't want to not see what came out, I didn't want them to treat what came out as medical waste. I wanted to be at home to process, just me and my husband. It is not for everyone. YOU get to decide what is best for you.

Answer

Done correctly, a D&C will not hurt your fertility. Saying that it does is anti-choice propaganda that is not true. But, since it sounds like you aren’t ready, can you ask your doctor if you can wait a few more days?

Answer

I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a d&c at 9 weeks and it honestly was exactly what I needed to move on and start grieving and accepting the loss. It was quick, and you only go under a “twilight” level of anesthesia - it’s not as much as general anesthesia you’d get for a longer surgery. My doctor was sweet and comforting and did her best to make me feel comfortable, but it was still a sad, emotionally draining day. I woke up with barely any discomfort or pain and took it easy for a few days. The cramping over the following days was like light-moderate period cramps. 
I had no adverse fertility effects - I got pregnant again 3-4 months later and I’m scheduled to have my baby this Tuesday. There is hope after this experience. 
This isn’t going to be easy no matter how it happens, and it’s so hard to experience the end of a pregnancy. Just feel whatever you’re feeling and allow yourself to heal in your own time. I truly hope your procedure goes as smoothly as mine and that you begin to heal.

I might regret this, but can I hear your D&C experiences?

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