So to start off with, I know that I’m not 100% justified, because two wrongs don’t make a right.

I got married this year and recently gave birth. Our child has special needs. Since their birth, there has been tremendous strain on a relationship that wasn’t perfect to begin with.

I rekindled a friendship with an “ex”. We “dated” for a month in 2015 and slept together a handful of times. We were friends throughout two of my past relationships and it has not been a problem, as we were legitimately platonic friends before and have been legitimately platonic since. We realized we didn’t click romantically (or sexually for that matter) and moved on.

We talk mostly about our kids and joke around. There isn’t any reminiscing, besides him bringing up his snoring and asking if I remembered how bad it was. We talk maybe once a week, if not less.

Recently I caught my husband on a dating website. It’s a long story, but he’s basically denying that he knew what it was. We’re now more stressed than ever, sleeping separately, and on top of it our baby has been having some complications related to their condition. We really haven’t been speaking aside from about the baby, or if I’m really lonely and want to show him a funny video or something.

Additionally, the argument that followed me finding his dating profile led to him kicking in our bedroom door while holding our baby and then threatening to leave with the baby. He was also yelling at me and yelled, “why can’t you get anything through your head?” And started jamming his fingers against the side of my skull.

Since then, I’ve turned to my “ex”/friend for advice, and he’s been talking about his relationship, too. It feels like a betrayal, since I’m talking to someone I have history with behind my husband’s back, but I don’t want to deal with the drama and want to talk to someone I trust. There’s 100% nothing inappropriate in these conversations, and he could go through them if he wanted to.

Advice welcome, even if I won’t want to hear it.