I'm 20 weeks today. So exciting but yet so terrified. This month marks one year since we lost our baby girl at 28 weeks. I want to feel so happy that I'm 20 weeks, but theres this voice inside me that wont let me enjoy it because something could go wrong at any moment.

We had the NIPT done and it said we are having a girl. we are over the moon excited and blessed to be having another girl. However, although we have a name picked out for her, we keep calling her by her sister's name. We feel so guilty. And her nursery always comes out at Olive's room instead of Sofia's room. I want to cry everytime I realize it's not Olive. And I hate correcting myself or my husband. I know its Sofia... but I keep calling her Olive.

This is so hard, and I promised myself i would enjoy this pregnancy to the max. And instead I find myself worrying about everything I do and if it's safe for her. I find myself obsessing over her movements and comparing them to my last pregnancy. Either my bump was 'cuter' last time, or I showed later. Or i remmeber Olive kicking hard at this stage, why isnt Sofia kicking me as much? It's hard not to obsess and I want to be healthy for her. But theres always that part of me that thinks not to get too excited but also stop comparing.

If there are any moms out there that have gone through this please comment how you stopped yourself from comparing and obsessing over every thing that is different from last time.

I dont know who else to talk to this about.