My boyfriend of over a year decided that the most appropriate way to break up with me was to block me off of everything and not give me any explanation why. I thought he was dead or in jail. I will be going to get STD/STI testing done just because of how sketchy he acted but I really need some advice and how to not completely hate myself right now. I keep isolating myself from everyone and it only makes things worse. When a guy tries to talk to me it makes me sick. I almost cry every time because it isn’t him. We were basically living together (he stayed at my place every night) and now I don’t even know how to function as a human anymore. I can’t sleep without him. It feels uncomfortable showering without him. I can’t eat without throwing up now. I have depression so I know I need to keep myself active and around people when I feel this way but as soon as I get home alone without him I immediately start crying. I’m torn between broken and at peace. He was never a good boyfriend anyway. But it’s still killing me to not have him around. My body craves him in a way I will never understand. I just need some real advice on how to cope with this. I’ve tried reaching out to friends but my friends have never been in a monogamous relationship or have depression so they don’t really understand. I appreciate them for trying, I really do. But right now I need advice. I’m so tired of hearing “I’m sorry, you deserve better.” If that we’re true, HE wouldn’t have left ME. I just want to feel better.