How do I go to work and pretend I’m not grieving this huge loss.

Amanda • 👶🏼💜 February 2016 Miscarriage May, August, October 2018, & June 2019 Twins October 2019 & June 2020

After 4 miscarriages I was so excited to get pregnant again. I made it further this pregnancy. I went to my 1st ultrasound yesterday to see twins but only to find out they stopped growing and didn’t develop. So now I wait. I wait to see if my body passes them naturally or if need a D&C next week. I cried all night long. I’ve lost 6 babies now. I’m not sure how I get myself dressed and go to work pretending I’m okay. I’m not okay.