I have this guy friend. He is so genuine and kind, a really decent bloke. He is also in love with me. But I have repeatedly told him I don’t return those feelings. However, we’ve been friends for a year now and I’m starting to sense a difference. For one, he is so incredible that I would love to have him as a husband one day. He’s hardworking and loves kids, he also shares my views on parenting and co existing as a couple growing old together. Our personalities are in perfect harmony. We match each other perfectly, being that I am sassy and challenge him and I like to think I’ve brought energy into his life since knowing him- and for me, he is logical and rational, a sensible person with a good head on his shoulders. He is also kind and VERY patient and god knows I like to test his patience with my brattiness haha. But he always remains calm and caring. Maybe it’s because he loves me, but moreso I am convinced that that is just how he is as a person. It’s because of these things that I’ve grown to admire him, and desire him at the same time. Though in more of a settling down, ‘meant to be’ sort of way.

NOW here’s where it gets tricky. Sex for me has always been confusing. I have only slept with one person (my ex of 2 years). And I wasn’t sexually attracted to them at all. Over time I’ve grown to understand what I’m into, which is passionate, highly hot and heavy, steamy and man-handling type of sex. I like to be roughed about. But more than that, I have to be PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED to someone to want to f*ck them, something I don’t have with my friend in question, or at least I don’t think I have. Now he on the other hand is very liberal minded about sex. He seems experienced and says that he loves to see his woman pleased and that turns him on. He says he is adaptable to what his woman needs in bed to be turned on. A courteous and considerate lover he is. Whether or not he’d be able to offer me what I want..I don’t know. But I have thought about it. And what bothers me is the fact that I would have sex with him, but I just DONT LIKE HIS LOOKS. He had a decent body but his face, it’s not really masculine. I wish I wasn’t this fussy TRUST ME. But I get so turned on by faces, by the thought of a real manly man taking me. And well aside from his kind and attentive nature, he also has a rather kind face as well, so not exactly what I’m into.

My question to you guys is, is it fair of me to judge this sort of thing without actually giving it a go? Actually giving a romantic relationship a go with him? Actually sleeping with him?

Or do I have to face facts, as much as I want him as a husband and father, I don’t want him sexually, and all this is is me trying desperately to convince myself otherwise?

Help/advice would be much appreciated!