So I was molested back in 2011 (I was 12) by a relative during the duration of a few months

My mom has had issues with her work, but posted a status involving her work and saying she’s grateful to be working there bc they worked with her for paid time off for her surgery and also decided to add that they gave her time off so we could work on my case to get the person put in jail.

Now, it’s something we don’t normally shout to the world that has happened, and I wasn’t thrilled that my mom put it out in the open like that

I tried calling her to ask her to edit her post to take that part out of it, but she didn’t answer.

It wasn’t the end of the world for me, I just wasn’t thrilled about it. But it was already posted so what was I supposed to do? And if I’m being honest, it is a part of her story too. Like no she wasn’t the one who was assaulted but she went through a lot while I was going through my situation, so she could help me help myself.

My grandma ended up getting ahold of me, LIVID that my mom posted about it.

I told her it wasn’t a big deal and to pretty much leave it alone, I’ll talk to my mom when I talk to her.

She kept going on about how my mom shouldn’t of posted it and how she didn’t want specific people to know bc it would upset them.

She ended up messaging my mom, despite me telling her not to.

And honestly it’s gotten me in a funk.

I didn’t feel like it was a big deal until she kind of came to me making it a big deal.

It took me a long time to not feel ashamed or hurt or to even be able to talk about it. And a lot of the time when I talk about it still I’ll end up getting so worked up I start puking.

But with her making it a big deal, getting upset because she didn’t want people finding out,

Makes me upset, makes me feel like I should be ashamed when I know I shouldn’t be. Makes me feel like if I do tell people about it that I’m asking for attention. Makes me feel like I’m dirty and I need to shower. It makes me loose my breath. It makes me worry about who has already seen it before the post was edited.

It makes me feel like people are talking about me. It makes me feel like people think I wanted it. It makes me feel like people think I’m gross. It makes me feel like people think I was lying and that it didn’t happen. It makes me feel like people are trying to figure out who it is and decide whether they should take my side or his.

After select people found out I was molested, I had people act really mean to me. I had a guy at my friends work telling everyone how disgusting I was. I had someone message me asking what “I let” my abuser do to me and asking things like if I would let him put it in my ass when my abuser gets out of prison. My aunt was evil to me because it was her boh friend.

I understand why my grandma wanted it put down, but her urgency to get it put down has put me in almost a panic and I don’t know how to stop it